RankynPhyle.com

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Junk Food Fail

Posted by Rankyn Phyle on 2012 Aug 26

I decided that I really wanted to have a root beer float this weekend.
To that end, I stopped by my local CVS on the way home from work Friday night to pick up supplies.

Root Beer
For some reason, despite selling most every other Coke product, CVS only has A&W root beer.
A&W root beer is inferior root beer.
The best root beer is IBC, but it’s needlessly expensive.
Barq’s is a close second so it’s what I usually buy.
Mug is a distant third.
The only time I’ll buy A&W is when there aren’t any other options… such as when I’m buying it from CVS.

Ice Cream
I’m a big fan of Blue Bell ice cream.
I don’t dislike other brands, but I refuse to buy the needlessly expensive stuff.
When it comes to making root beer floats, there’s nothing better than Blue Bell’s “Homemade Vanilla” flavor.
It’s their most popular flavor so stores always stock a lot of it but CVS always buries it at the bottom of the freezer.

So anyway, I grab a bottle of A&W, fish out a half gallon of Homemade Vanilla, check out, head home, stuff it in the refrigerator and freezer, and then promptly forget about it until Saturday afternoon.

My plan is to make a float and then kick back and watch an episode of Star Trek: Voyager.
All the pieces are in place so I sit down to assemble the thing but when I open the ice cream, my immediate thought is, “WTF is this chocolate swirl in my Homemade Vanilla ice cream??!?”

Upon closer inspection, it turns out that what I had actually purchased was a flavor called “Homemade in the Shade” which is basically the Homemade Vanilla flavor with a chocolate swirl.
The package is identical to regular Homemade Vanilla and apparently when I was fishing it out of the freezer at the store, I saw the word “Homemade” and figured I had what I wanted.

It’s not optimal but maybe this stuff will make a decent float so I pour some root beer on it and give it a try.
It turns out to be quite disgusting.

Oh well, it’s not a complete loss.
I won’t get to enjoy a float but I can still have a bowl of ice cream and drink some root beer.

It is at this point that I discover that I was apparently sleepwalking while I was shopping the night before because I took a drink of the root beer and discovered that I had purchased the only thing that tastes worse than A&W Root Beer despite specifically identifying it on the shelf as something to avoid before I picked up the bottle next to it: Diet A&W Root Beer.

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One Response to “Junk Food Fail”

  1. KJS said

    Epic fail!

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