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Criminal Masterminds

Posted by Rankyn Phyle on 2012 Apr 15

This is a follow up to Found: The First Intelligent Imperial!
…which was a follow up to Putting the Fear of Me into You.

It seems that maybe the criminal factions are the smart ones.
They don’t feel the urge to posture needlessly and make empty threats… they seem to have a more objective outlook on what the future will be like after a conflict with me.

Criminal: So, you’ve come to steal from us. The truth is that I let you wear yourself out on my minions so that my elite guards and I could dispatch you with ease.
Me: (I swear this was the actual dialog) I’ve already marched across the swamps, fought your army of thugs, and invaded your stronghold. Do you really think you can stop me now?
Criminal:  Good point. Tell you what, we’ll turn around and walk away if you promise not to shoot us on your way out. Deal?
Me: Ok. Also, give me your lunch money.
Criminal: Here you go.

I realize that it’s not terribly exciting as far as storytelling goes but it’s probably a much more realistic depiction of the way things would happen.
On the other hand, movies would be MUCH shorter if they played out like this.
Just imagine a world where secret agents didn’t have to announce their name twice on the off chance you missed it the first time.

Goldfinger: I don’t believe we’ve met, Mr.?
007: Bond. James Bo…
Goldfinger: Oh shi–  Wait right here and I’ll get you that code for disarming the bomb.

Just imagine… you’d be able to watch every 007 movie ever made in the course of one afternoon.

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